METİN ÖZKAYA
I was born in 1978 in Sherzingen, Switzerland. My parents were working in a factory there. I lived there until I was 9 years old when my father wanted me to return to Turkey. My mother returned 3 years later. From age 9 until 18 every summer vacation I was sent to attend Kuran courses at the local mosque. When I got to be 18 I started to ask questions about my faith, and I was not finding answers. In general I was questioning who God was and if Muhammed was a prophet.
The problems that were going on in my family caused our circle of friends to dissipate. My two older brothers had gotten addicted to drugs while they were in Switzerland. The relationship between my parents was getting worse and they decided to divorce.
In those years I started to read books on Socialism and Karl Marx through the influence of some of my school friends who were leftist leaning. The Socialist ideas of sharing, equality and brotherhood drew my interest and I started to see myself as a Socialist. During this time I completely lost my belief in God’s existence. I did not believe there was a God.
During my university years my interest in different philosophies increased. I started to look into religions like Buddhism and Hinduism. Inside I felt a big emptiness. I tried to fill that empty space with all kinds of knowledge, but what I was really searching for was the creator. I was thinking that perhaps there is no God, but there is an energy that I am looking for.
After university, I worked in my field in several different cities. Finally in 2000 I moved to Antalya at the invitation of one of my colleagues with the purpose of becoming business partners. Until 2001 though things were not going so well, I was able to earn enough money to make ends meet. Unfortunately in February of 2001 there was an economic crisis in Turkey and we lost our business.
During my university years my relationship with my family was not good. They did not approve of my choice of occupation and therefore did not help my financially. When I lost my business in Antalya, I did not return home to live with them because of my anger toward them and because of my pride.
I worked various odd jobs, but finally came to a point where I could not find work and had no money. Finally when I had no money to pay my rent, I was forced onto the street and at night I had to sleep on park benches. It was during this time that I made acquaintance with our church’s Pastor, Ramazan.
He had come to the Association named “Those Who Love to Read Books” with the purpose of sharing the gospel and giving out new testaments. Since I was having a lot of free time, I was visiting this association regularly and together with my friends there we would discuss the books we had read. Ramazan came in and began to have a conversation with the president of the association about the new testament and Jesus. While they were talking, I was listening. The president was an atheist and he was not interested, but the more Ramazan spoke, the more Jesus and the new testament started to seem interesting to me.
I took one of the new testaments which he had left and started to read it. As I read it my thoughts about Jesus started to change. I thought that Jesus was a socialist, and was willing to go as far as dying for what he believed. I became his admirer! At about that time a pantomime group came to Antalya and was doing free pantomime performances. Ramazan was passing out their flyers and I ran into him one day when he was doing that. He invited me to the performance. The pantomime showed that God loved the world so much that he sent his Son, Christ to be a sacrifice for all people. After reading the new testament and seeing this performance things in my heart started to change.
In the days ahead I started to go to the church and took part in the Sunday services. The worship songs, prayers and sermons were good for me. But still I could not accept Christ. It did not come as an easy thing to me as a person that knew Islam and was raised in a Muslim family. Generally in my mind the Kuran and the Incil were giving a similar message. Each book was claimed to be God’s written word, and both faiths made claims that they were the one way to God.
In the end I found taking part in the church a good thing, the relationships I had there were good and that was enough. But still living on the street and being in a situation where I had no income made it very difficult to pass the days. It had been almost 3 months that I had been living on the street and I still had not found any way out of this. I felt like a guilty person who had been given the death penalty.
One day I got really depressed, and I wanted to take my life. I just didn’t have enough courage. That night I was thinking I would surely eventually die from starvation or some other cause. That night as my thoughts wandered off in this direction, I lifted my eyes and started to talk with God. Reflecting on the words that I remembered from the Kuran and Incil, I argued with God. “Where are you?” “How come you don’t take care of me?” “Why don’t you love me?” Using such words I rebelled against God. Finally I got tired and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, it was as if I was a new person. I felt lighter and the depression of the day before was gone. Again I started to walk the streets and search for a job. I did not know why, but I had hope. I knew I was not going to die on the street.
As I was walking, I saw one window with an advertisement regarding work. But I did not want to go in and ask if they would hire me. The clothes I was wearing were not so clean and I was embarrassed by my situation. But at that moment a person came outside and spoke to me. He asked if I was hungry. I said, yes. He invited me inside and gave me a plate of food. I was so hungry that if it had been possible I would have eaten the plate as well. He asked if I needed work. I said yes of course I did and I was willing to do whatever work he might offer me. He hired me as a person who helped the waiter by cleaning off the tables. I not expected this kind of job. One week later I found a place to live. Thus I was no longer living on the street, I had a bed and I had a job! This was like a great big gift for me.
One evening after I got off of work, I went home and stretched out on my bed. I began thinking, things in my life had changed, but how? Before to be successful at work or to earn money I had had to exert so much effort. And this expense of energy had left me exhausted. But for this job, I had not exerted any effort, it was as though the job found me. And following that it was as if the place to stay also “found me”. It was as if I had pressed some button, but what button was it? That night as I reflected I went back to the time when I had argued with God. That night I had spoken a lot with God, and I also remembered that I had finished my conversation with the name of Jesus. In that moment I felt a warmth in my heart. I knew that it was Jesus that had changed my life. Because that night I had asked God questions. “Where are you?” And God had answered me: “Here I am”. That night no one was needed to convince me, because I knew inside that Jesus Christ heard me. And I realized that He not only heard me, but He also valued me. By His caring for my needs I understood how important I was to Him. For Him I was not just “anybody”, but rather I was someone that he valued and took care of.
The next day I went to Ramazan and told him that I had come to faith. He prayed for me. From that day until now, I have not one day gone to bed hungry. Everyday the Lord has meet my needs. I know that I am not alone, and I live knowing that He is always with me. With time I understood that the Lord who loved me also wanted me to serve Him, and so I began to pray about this. When the leader of our church, Ramazan, invited me to serve, I understood that this desire was from God. I served in our church doing various things until 2005 and then our church sent me to a year long Bible school training and internship program. When I finished this, I stayed on one more year to serve the church that organizes the Bible school program. Following that, in 2007 Ramazan invited me back to Antalya to serve in the church here. Also in 2007 I married my wife Ozlem. From that time until now I have been serving in my church and until the Lord takes me, I will serve the Lord in my church with all the strength He gives.
The problems that were going on in my family caused our circle of friends to dissipate. My two older brothers had gotten addicted to drugs while they were in Switzerland. The relationship between my parents was getting worse and they decided to divorce.
In those years I started to read books on Socialism and Karl Marx through the influence of some of my school friends who were leftist leaning. The Socialist ideas of sharing, equality and brotherhood drew my interest and I started to see myself as a Socialist. During this time I completely lost my belief in God’s existence. I did not believe there was a God.
During my university years my interest in different philosophies increased. I started to look into religions like Buddhism and Hinduism. Inside I felt a big emptiness. I tried to fill that empty space with all kinds of knowledge, but what I was really searching for was the creator. I was thinking that perhaps there is no God, but there is an energy that I am looking for.
After university, I worked in my field in several different cities. Finally in 2000 I moved to Antalya at the invitation of one of my colleagues with the purpose of becoming business partners. Until 2001 though things were not going so well, I was able to earn enough money to make ends meet. Unfortunately in February of 2001 there was an economic crisis in Turkey and we lost our business.
During my university years my relationship with my family was not good. They did not approve of my choice of occupation and therefore did not help my financially. When I lost my business in Antalya, I did not return home to live with them because of my anger toward them and because of my pride.
I worked various odd jobs, but finally came to a point where I could not find work and had no money. Finally when I had no money to pay my rent, I was forced onto the street and at night I had to sleep on park benches. It was during this time that I made acquaintance with our church’s Pastor, Ramazan.
He had come to the Association named “Those Who Love to Read Books” with the purpose of sharing the gospel and giving out new testaments. Since I was having a lot of free time, I was visiting this association regularly and together with my friends there we would discuss the books we had read. Ramazan came in and began to have a conversation with the president of the association about the new testament and Jesus. While they were talking, I was listening. The president was an atheist and he was not interested, but the more Ramazan spoke, the more Jesus and the new testament started to seem interesting to me.
I took one of the new testaments which he had left and started to read it. As I read it my thoughts about Jesus started to change. I thought that Jesus was a socialist, and was willing to go as far as dying for what he believed. I became his admirer! At about that time a pantomime group came to Antalya and was doing free pantomime performances. Ramazan was passing out their flyers and I ran into him one day when he was doing that. He invited me to the performance. The pantomime showed that God loved the world so much that he sent his Son, Christ to be a sacrifice for all people. After reading the new testament and seeing this performance things in my heart started to change.
In the days ahead I started to go to the church and took part in the Sunday services. The worship songs, prayers and sermons were good for me. But still I could not accept Christ. It did not come as an easy thing to me as a person that knew Islam and was raised in a Muslim family. Generally in my mind the Kuran and the Incil were giving a similar message. Each book was claimed to be God’s written word, and both faiths made claims that they were the one way to God.
In the end I found taking part in the church a good thing, the relationships I had there were good and that was enough. But still living on the street and being in a situation where I had no income made it very difficult to pass the days. It had been almost 3 months that I had been living on the street and I still had not found any way out of this. I felt like a guilty person who had been given the death penalty.
One day I got really depressed, and I wanted to take my life. I just didn’t have enough courage. That night I was thinking I would surely eventually die from starvation or some other cause. That night as my thoughts wandered off in this direction, I lifted my eyes and started to talk with God. Reflecting on the words that I remembered from the Kuran and Incil, I argued with God. “Where are you?” “How come you don’t take care of me?” “Why don’t you love me?” Using such words I rebelled against God. Finally I got tired and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, it was as if I was a new person. I felt lighter and the depression of the day before was gone. Again I started to walk the streets and search for a job. I did not know why, but I had hope. I knew I was not going to die on the street.
As I was walking, I saw one window with an advertisement regarding work. But I did not want to go in and ask if they would hire me. The clothes I was wearing were not so clean and I was embarrassed by my situation. But at that moment a person came outside and spoke to me. He asked if I was hungry. I said, yes. He invited me inside and gave me a plate of food. I was so hungry that if it had been possible I would have eaten the plate as well. He asked if I needed work. I said yes of course I did and I was willing to do whatever work he might offer me. He hired me as a person who helped the waiter by cleaning off the tables. I not expected this kind of job. One week later I found a place to live. Thus I was no longer living on the street, I had a bed and I had a job! This was like a great big gift for me.
One evening after I got off of work, I went home and stretched out on my bed. I began thinking, things in my life had changed, but how? Before to be successful at work or to earn money I had had to exert so much effort. And this expense of energy had left me exhausted. But for this job, I had not exerted any effort, it was as though the job found me. And following that it was as if the place to stay also “found me”. It was as if I had pressed some button, but what button was it? That night as I reflected I went back to the time when I had argued with God. That night I had spoken a lot with God, and I also remembered that I had finished my conversation with the name of Jesus. In that moment I felt a warmth in my heart. I knew that it was Jesus that had changed my life. Because that night I had asked God questions. “Where are you?” And God had answered me: “Here I am”. That night no one was needed to convince me, because I knew inside that Jesus Christ heard me. And I realized that He not only heard me, but He also valued me. By His caring for my needs I understood how important I was to Him. For Him I was not just “anybody”, but rather I was someone that he valued and took care of.
The next day I went to Ramazan and told him that I had come to faith. He prayed for me. From that day until now, I have not one day gone to bed hungry. Everyday the Lord has meet my needs. I know that I am not alone, and I live knowing that He is always with me. With time I understood that the Lord who loved me also wanted me to serve Him, and so I began to pray about this. When the leader of our church, Ramazan, invited me to serve, I understood that this desire was from God. I served in our church doing various things until 2005 and then our church sent me to a year long Bible school training and internship program. When I finished this, I stayed on one more year to serve the church that organizes the Bible school program. Following that, in 2007 Ramazan invited me back to Antalya to serve in the church here. Also in 2007 I married my wife Ozlem. From that time until now I have been serving in my church and until the Lord takes me, I will serve the Lord in my church with all the strength He gives.